Bleh

Lately, an abundance of bad things are happening to the loved ones of people close to me. It can be a curse, but I empathize with their pain, anxiety and worry. Every time I hear an update or a negative status, it hits me harder. Blow by blow, these people are all I think about. They're constantly in my head. 

I started thinking today though. It's too much. He has cancer, she has cancer, she has leukemia, she had a serious allergic reaction, her cancer is back. It only took 5 days for all this news to me. I'm saturated in fear and worry. 

Now either I can worry and be really mad at the world or I can be a real Christian and man up. It's so flipping hard though. Being a Christian is no simple walk in the park. Maybe it is for some people, but I have crazy allergies so crap can jump up at any moment and I won't realize it's harmful unless I stay with it for too long. 

I'm just struggling to do the right thing these days. I know Satan is loving all the happiness that's been drained out of me, but I haven't been this low in a long time and I'm too tired and weak to get up.

The other half of me knows I'm a baby and that I don't even have to get up to go to God. People got healed being sick in bed because Jesus came directly to them.

I have to re-evaluate all this crappy news and consider myself extra blessed every time.